“Do you enjoy being a mom?”
The question came to me often in my first year of motherhood, and of course I said, “Yes! I love it!”
But, to be honest, I didn’t really love it. At least I didn’t love what I was experiencing at the time.
Motherhood to me felt like my life was stuck on replay—doing every single thing over–and–over again and again. What exactly was supposed to give me joy in that—the mundane?
Then, someone said some pretty life–changing words to me.
“Sonya, how can you enjoy being a mom, when you’re not really enjoying life?”
It totally got my attention. She was right. I had equated motherhood with all of the “mundane stuff” of motherhood. You know—all the stuff you juggle as a mom.
I had turned “I enjoy being a mom” into “I’m just a mom.”
Maybe that’s you too—you’ve gotten stuck in the “I’m just a mom” mentality where motherhood is hard and your joy is well, non existent.
It’s okay, I’ve been there too. In fact it sneaks up on me if I lose focus on what matters most.
So, let’s talk about 10 ways you can enjoy being a mom, again.
10 Ways To Enjoy Being a Mom
1. Seek God First
When you are seeking the Lord daily, something really incredible happens. He draws near to you. It’s not a question, it’s a promise. His Word says so (James 4:8).
2. Start celebrating being a mom.
Begin by acknowledging the challenges of being a mom and the joy of raising up a new generation. And you get to help this new generation make a positive difference in the world. It’s a change in language and perspective that’ll take work—because it’s living life different than the rest of the world.
3. Get dressed for the day.
You can wear yoga pants—for days if you want to… But, you might be missing out on the benefits of “getting dressed” for the day. Studies have shown that “when workers wear nicer clothes, they achieve more.”1
4. Don’t question God’s Plan.
When being a mom feels hard and you feel like you’re failing—remember God chose you and He will guide you. Don’t question His plan.
God chose you to be a mom to your kids. And He promises in His Word that He has given you everything you need in life. (2 Peter 1:3).
If you ever feel like you’re not a great mom—spend some time doing #2 again, for it’s in His Presence there is fullness of joy. (Psalm 16:11)
5. Rethink Failure
The Perfect mom doesn’t exist—and you know it. But when you hold yourself to a measure of perfect—often you end up feeling like a failure. But if you start with understanding that failure is an event—it helps you to live with more freedom and joy. You can read more about that in How To Be Your Best (not perfect) and Love Your Life As a Mom.
6. Being a mom requires REAL self care.
Sweet mom—just like your kids’ needs matter—so do yours. But today that term self care can often mean do whatever you want to make yourself feel better. But real self care is taking care of your whole self regularly.
That includes deepening your faith, keeping your mind and self talk in check, taking care of both your physical and emotional health, as well as practicing sabbath rest.
Think of ways that you can take care of yourself—then write those things down. Take it a step further and then actually schedule self care into your calendar.
Don’t wait for when you “get around to it” to make it happen. Because you and I both know that as a mom you already feel like you never have enough time.
7. Find Your People
Don’t stay in isolation. Look for another group of moms that you can learn from and lean on. As moms, we’re better together. If you’re a mom of young kiddos, a great place to find moms is at a local moms group.
Who are your people? You can read more in 10 Things You Need To Be a Healthy Mom That You Probably Didn’t Know You Needed.
8. Receive all kinds of thank you’s.
Thank you, can be found in other places than words. Sometimes thank you is your husband putting gas in your car. Or it’s the look on a person’s face when your child says thank you to them at the grocery store.
9. Look at the mundane differently.
Mundane tasks aren’t just about having everything in order. It’s really one of the greatest influences you have as a mom. You are developing character and integrity in your kids on a daily basis.
It teaches your children about perseverance and stewardship—and instills a good work ethic. You are showing them how to be grateful for the basic needs and for all of the blessings God gives us.
Although it’s something that feels like it never ends—the benefits of your hard “mundane” work lasts a lifetime. Read more in my post, Breaking the Cycle of Monotony in Motherhood For Good.
10. Give yourself permission to dream again.
You are more than “just a mom.” When your kids are grown and out of the house—what do you want for them to be able to do? What will life look like for you? Your marriage? What is that something that you’ve always wanted to do? You should go do it.
It’s Hard Being a Mom But Good
My friend Carmen from MarriedByHisGrace.com, recently shared from her heart the REAL face of motherhood. Here’s her story in her own words.
“MOTHERHOOD is seriously the hardest thing I have ever done! It can be exhausting, mentally, emotionally draining, self doubting, brings heartbreak in moments of when you don’t know what to do, and reveals so many little details about yourself that you rather not know.
The list of my why’s can seem long and overwhelming. Even discouraging to any mom.
My biggest struggle is asking God waaaayyyy too many times, “Whhhyyyy Goooodddd, Why me?! Why am I a stay at home mom? If I was meant for this then why do I feel clueless and not always fulfilled? If I was truly meant for this task, then why do I get flustered from crying kids and messes in the house?
Truth is, I get discouraged in my own capabilities and contentment as a mother. I feel ungrateful sometimes and throw adult tantrums for alone time and understanding from others that I have a hard job that never allows you to clock out (Even when my husband’s tries so hard to hold me and tell me he does understand) I even plain out pout that MOTHERHOOD is hard but thank God….
The struggle is real, but God is greater.
Thank God, He is ever so merciful, ever so graceful to open my eyes spiritually to see the bigger picture for the day, for this season, for this purpose that I am a mom.
Lord, thank You for choosing me to raise a generation to know You. Thank you Lord for You mercy and Grace upon me! Thank you Lord for giving me insight to Your will which is and will always be greater than mine!
Being a Mom is Hard, But God is Greater
My dear friend Carmen has modeled for us what we can do when we feel like it’s hard being a mom—we can choose to turn to Him and give thanks. The reality is, that although being a mom can be challenging—we can enjoy being a mom, again.